An Exercise in Gluttony

‘Mission Mandarin’ commenced on a bright afternoon on the 29^th

A typical buffet at Mandarin!!

of last month; triggered by the need to break out of my current spartan existence. Surfing the net, I came across the welcome news of restaurants and eateries of the province of Ontario now declared open to walk-in patrons after a long period of close to a year. My friend, Google, helpfully pointed out that ‘Mandarin’ – a Chinese-

Canadian cuisine chain – had only recently restarted their fabled buffet service and I jumped at the chance of sampling a spread comprising 150+ items at a (comparatively) low cost of $24.99. So, I called up the Mandarin outlet nearest to my home on 29^th only to be told that the reservations for the week had been exhausted already. Well, I must say that I wasn’t surprised by the evidence of how my fellow people are striving to normalize their lives, one plateful of food at a time! Undaunted, I made a reservation for the next week on 8^th of October and started my groundwork to make Operation ‘Conquer Mandarin’ a resounding success.

My friend, Google, came to my aid again, directing me to helpful content on how to prime my constitution for the mayhem to come. Again, I was not surprised by how many of my fellow people have fine-tuned gluttony to a fine art, perfected by painful attention to sleep, exercise, water and fiber intake for the days leading to the final battle. Experts of countless buffet battles have devised their own strategies to come out on tops at the battlefield, comprising diverse elements as to the choice of clothes on the D-day (loose-fitting, mind you, to accommodate your expanding girth), arriving early to the scene and doing a quick but perceptive recce of the spread, chalking out a pecking order(!) of the gluttony to follow, staying away from carbs, et al.

Armed with the information and having carried out some of the preparations, I couldn’t wait for 8^th October to dawn and dawn it did, with a muggy vengeance. The skies were overcast, there was a constant drizzle, and the winds made a late but telling entrance. The dedicated foot-soldier that I am, I ventured out into the drizzle and the wind nonetheless, with but one objective in mind – total annihilation!

Arriving at the comfortable environs of Mandarin and being welcomed by the ever-solicitous staff there considerably bolstered my confidence. I was first comfortably seated at my table and the rules of the new-age ‘socially distanced’ buffet dining experience having been explained, I placed a ‘spirited’ order for a glass of Bellini – a concoction of rum, schnapps, and peach puree – and then strode into the buffet hall with the air of a seasoned veteran. Looking at the vast expanse filled me with delight and no small sense of wonderment – there was a salad bar, a soup counter with breads, a live grill, a sushi bar, a wide selection of hot entrees, calories-laden desserts, ice cream, frozen yogurt bar..

The first to be taken prisoner was a steaming hot bowl of soup with chicken wontons, accompanied by crackers and breadsticks. It was delicious and immediately filled me with a warming premonition of how glorious the day would turn out to be. I turned my attention next to the occupants of the salad bar who were colorfully turned out amidst bunches of merry periwinkles - a few button mushrooms, a sweet and tangy Thai chicken salad with thin mango strips, a chickpea salad, a wonderfully fresh shrimp salad, a creamy surimi salad, a basil-sprinkled mussel rounded up as my targets from that section.

My further conquests included golden fried wings, Kung Pao chicken, salt and pepper shrimp, lemon chicken, honey-garlic spare ribs, General Tao chicken, baked salmon, stir-fried vegetables, grilled chicken, torpedo shrimps, barbequed pork ribs….well, suffice it is to say that I tried to overpower as many of the opposition as I could. I partook of the sushi bar as well (only the second time in my life that I have had sushi!), the smoked salmon and cream cheese sushi just impressing me with its melt-in-the-mouth quality. Throughout it all, I had the able assistance of Vinh, my host for the day with his charming and helpful manner. Vinh is a Vietnamese student who is currently doing an internship with a company and working as a server at Mandarin during the weekends.

I hope it is not haughty on my part to admit that though I made short work of all that I chose to come to arms with till then, I was secretly conserving a significant part of my armory for the most delectable of all food – the desserts! And the desserts bar at Mandarin’s made for a very worthy adversary, with its varied arsenal of cakes, cookies, flaky parties, puddings, sinful cheesecakes, ice creams, yogurts, and what-have-you. I was pleased to try out the usual suspects – macaroons, crème brulee, butter tarts, etc. but I was exhilarated to encounter certain confections like pecan pie and lemon meringue pie, of which I have heard lots but never come to face with. The child in me couldn’t resist finishing up the day’s conquest with a small helping of that ubiquitous white and pink ice cream (called ‘two-in-one’ in India), the vanilla and strawberry combination ice cream.

Well, there’s nothing left to do now but tell the powers-that-be, “Coming in for ‘Mission Mandarin’. My work here is done. Over and out!’